Survive Retirement and Stay Alive

Survive Retirement and Stay Alive

Wednesday 15 July 2015

capitalist society dehumanizes people

Derek Milne on coping issues in retirement:

With "physical and other age-related declines, another stressor is our growing inability to sustain a purposeful function in life.
This function would normally have been achieved through our work. Work is a powerful, defining phenomenon in society, contributing significantly to our sense of self, our well-being, and the feeling of making a useful contribution.
"In the modern world, people may increasingly be seen as commodities with production [& consumption] as the primary objectives of society”.

"Many older people experience rejection - the views of retired people are discounted by society, simply because they are retired. They are seen as 'old fashioned’, out of touch, sooo last century. Such "negative interpretations may destroy peoples' self esteem, confidence and hope".

On retiring, the amount or extent of one’s ‘social capital' is very important (ie having supportive relationships of as wide a variety as possible), especially as work may have alienated one from family as well as from friendships outside of work.
“Capitalist society can dehumanize people, as it only has an interest in their patterns of consumption”.
“Alienation refers to how individuals experience despair, hopelessness and disengagement from society" as a result of dehumanization - this is a deliberate process, for a variety of reasons, implemented for the financial benefit of corporations - which are greedy, "insensitive, ruthless in their handling of...human beings", relentless in their drive for ever higher percentage of profits each year.
Part of the negative nature of work is that it can be all-demanding and all-consuming of one's time, focus and attention, which can lead to a situation upon retirement where one (even if married) can be isolated alienated, bored; lonely...and hence, soon depressed - with possibly disasterous consequences.
@ Men's Shed North Shore, AK, NZ
For those who have been in positions of authority the sudden alienation and relegation from 'hero to zero' may have severely negative consequences. Even the loss of status in a small team can be marked. In addition, one looses one's sense of 'place', as well as a loss of routine. Even prisoners upon release can experience disorientation when suddenly relieved of the rules, regulations and restrictions of incarceration.
This can all be compounded by one‘s personality-type: those of a gregarious & outgoing nature will find it easier to attend social events and to strike up conversation with strangers, or further engage aquaintences on matters of mutual interest,join clubs, etc.

Negative experiences of “redundancy are associated with various mental health problems (anxiety, depression, and substance abuse) as well as relation-ship difficulties. Moreover, the loss of work in a community (eg due to the closure of a local firm) has been associated with declining neighbourhood quality - including higher rates of crime, violence and apathy”.
Further, ignoring/refusing refusing to accept the problems/issues may lead to the deepening of the issues....blanking-out the problems may be sought through the use of alcohol and/or drugs, overeating, becoming a hermit or some sort of social misfit”.

Next up - good news! - successful coping..

Saturday 11 July 2015

adapt to survive!

Derek Milne  on coping strategies - finding hope...or hopelessness


After a lifetime of work, society is done with people, they have reproduced, consumed, and kept the whole show going. On retirement, Western society is thru with its workers, like all commodities they are thrown into the trash once their “useful” purpose is past.

Hence the title of this blog is “Work-Buy-Consume-Die”.

Ending a lifetime of work in this manner can be experienced as a period of severe loss, and many men struggle to manage or cope with the transition to retirement. In his book “The Psychology of Retirement,” Derek Milne identifies two basic post-work coping strategies: one successful, the other definitely not so. He terms these “approach-based”(adaptive coping), and “avoidance-based”(maladaptive coping).

Approach-based (adaptive) strategies for coping have positive results: people adapt to their new situation confidently, they help themselves, keep busy, find interests, socialize, create, travel, volunteer, or even work part-time. They continue to participate in life, make plans and have hopes for the future.

On the other hand, avoidance-based (maladaptive) strategies have negative outcomes: drug addiction, alcoholism, obesity, isolation, mental problems, loss of money (eg thru gambling) - leading to homelessness, as well further degradation, despair, and hopelessness. When hope is lost, all is lost.

Charles Darwin:"It is not the strongest of the species that survives, not the most intelligent, but the one most responsive to change" - ie those willing and able to adapt.

And so it is upon retirement - when faced with a totally unexpected set of (often extremely adverse) circumstances, those who can adapt their thinking, responses and actions in a positive manner will enjoy a far better quality of life than those who cannot instigate creative change, but instead seek refuge in ultimately destructive patterns of behaviour.
At the Men's Shed North Shore, Auckland, NZ
Milne: “Instead of retirement being the great opportunity many people look vaguely forwards to, the extent and severity of loss and change can instead render the experience an extremely confusing one. The rate of change in our Western money-orientated world has speeded up immensely with the invention of computers and the internet, to the point where long-cherished dreams, plans, assumptions and opportunities are rendered invalid and lost. Suddenly facing this realization can be extremely disorientating, it can be very difficult when faced with goal posts which are continually widening and moving to pull oneself together  and evaluate the situation in order to understand the new possibilities and formulate new plans, projects and successful ways of coping."

Next up - more on the unexpected issues encountered upon retirement....

Thursday 9 July 2015

the importance of work

Theme: identity, purpose, & meaning are found in work - this is all lost upon retirement.

Most of us have to work for most of our lives to make money - to pay the bills/rent/mortgage, raise the kids, eat, move around, pay for the gear to go fishing or hunting, buy tools to make stuff...even to save for our retirement.

Some people are fortunate enough to enjoy their work - for them it’s a vocation, a calling, a fulfilling and extremely satisfying way of making a living. For others it’s a drag, demanding, tedious...a schlepp.
Either way, many of us don’t realize the extremely important roles work plays in our lives. Other than its pros and cons, work provides us with a meaningful and purposeful role in life, as well as all-important social connections. In fact, many of us define ourselves by the work we do: “I’m a mechanic”...”I’m a barber”...I’m a painter”.


 Unfortunately, it can be all-too-easy to mistake our jobs for our lives.

This error can become painfully evident upon retirement when we find ourselves missing the purpose, direction and social interaction which was provided by work. Suddenly, there may be no good reason to even get out of bed in the morning, or, if we do so, to change out of our pajamas, or go past the letterbox.

We may find ourselves in a period of loss and grief.
Work made us matter. It provided self-esteem, cameraderie, stimulation, a sense of life direction.

This experience of loss has been described as: “like a roller door coming down....looking down the barrel of a gun...being in a world falling apart....experiencing a complete loss of motivation and inspiration...becoming a dead man walking”.
For sure, the prospect of decades of daytime TV ahead provides a bleak future.

We men like to solve problems. Retirement is the biggest problem we will ever face, and we will have to do it on our own. Unfortunately many men find retirement an extremely stressful event - one for which they are ill-prepared. Many do not know how to cope. Given the events described above, they can become isolated, feel obsolete, lost, meaningless, and face a future which holds nothing for them.

Depression, illness, and early death are proven to be the inevitable outcomes of this situation.

However, there is hope - if we can develop successful coping strategies to survive.

In his book “The Psychology of Retirement”, Derek Milne identifies two basic coping strategies: one successful, the other definitely not so.

In my next post I will discuss Milne’s findings in more detail.