Survive Retirement and Stay Alive

Survive Retirement and Stay Alive

Thursday 29 January 2015

the role of men's sheds

Over the past few months I have been talking with many members of Men’s Sheds throughout the North Island of New Zealand, as well as reading extensively on issues relating to retirement.
The key themes apparent in my study of retirement issues are that a loss of purpose upon retirement after decades of responding to the manifold demands of work and family can make life appear to be meaningless. Faced with a loss of purpose and a lack of meaning can lead people to give up hope.
A sense of hopelessness is often what precipitates a rapid decline in physical and mental health in retired people, and it may be noted that the loss of hope can be the final straw which drives people to commit suicide.
In discussions at the Shed about retirement, Shed members often refer to the fact that their fathers and other older male relatives were often dead within eighteen month of retirement. Studies have shown that eighteen months of feeling “blue” (not even mildly depressed) can have a severely negative effect upon the body’s immune system and general functioning to the point where severe illness sets in, leading to a rapid decline and death.
This is the first in a series of notes (which I intend to turn into articles for publications) in which I will explore the issues men face upon retirement - issues they are ill-prepared to face, and which comprise the most difficult problems many of us have ever encountered.
My main themes will be addressing loss of purpose, meaning and hope as discussed above, how planning and adapting to changing circumstances can help overcome these problems; and, of course, the invaluable role Men’s Sheds can play in developing strategies and providing opportunities to help us successfully cope with these and other complex retirement issues.

See: my Shed blog www.shedyarns.blogspot.co.nz
NZ Sheds: www.menzshed.org.nz/
Men's Shed North Shore (Auckland): www.mensshednorthshore.org.nz

depression issues

For many people the experience of retirement is akin to a living nightmare.

People make the mistake of planning for retirement - not for an ongoing life. ‘Retire’ means to ‘remove from view...from society’. Retirees may find that they do not have a single reason to get out of bed in the morning. Their lives have become meaningless and they themselves have become valueless.

Instead of enjoying one long holiday, they find that their life is one of boredom, emptiness, isolation, loneliness, and helplessness. Many loose the sense of purpose which directed their working life. With this comes loss of self-esteem, with those who were previously the most successful being now often the most vunerable. Life appears futile. Despair and depression set in with devastating results.

Depressed men are three times as likely as women to commit suicide. The suicide rate in the general population is 0.01% (10 in 100,000). The rates for depressed people are 10-30  times higher, and for elderly men five times higher.

US studies have found that the risk of people experiencing depression rises six-fold in those experiencing highly stressful events such as financial disaster, bereavement, or loss of a job. The situation is compounded at certain more vunerable stages in life eg in childbirth and menopause for women, and (most importantly here) retirement in men.

 A variety of treatments can be effective in treating or helping people cope with depression: including medical anti-depressants, and self-help modalities (eg. meditation). However, men tend to resist seeking help from doctors, psychologists or psychiatrists - let alone “new age” healers! The negative associations of depression play some part in this reluctance, with depression being linked to madness, failure and weakness. Not only are people ashamed of admitting to such a condition, they may have a dread of being institutionalized in ‘the looney bin” or ‘the mad house’.

In “Depression Explained”, Gwendoline Smith points out that “keeping people occupied is far more useful than allowing them to sit and dwell on how bad they feel...inactivity and social isolation can influence and reinforce depression...men are often less skilled at accessing support, and older married men have often been dependent on their wives for...social contact.”

It can be seen here that Men’s Sheds can play a vital role in reducing social isolation, and hence depression, by providing normal, non-judgemental spaces for men to meet without the negative associations of alcohol or gambling. By keeping busy with community and personal projects, and working shoulder-to-shoulder with others, men can develop a sense of purpose and an experience of belonging which can greatly assist in escaping from a living nightmare to a life of meaning and fulfillment.

introduction

“This retirement lark isn’t what it’s cracked up to be”: Norm at the Men's Shed North Shore.
And indeed it isn’t. In conversations with men from a wide variety of backgrounds at   Men’s Sheds throughout the North Island and fellow campers on a recent trip to California retirees revealed to me their strong sense of loss - of identity, purpose, role, meaning, acknowledgement, belonging, company, companionship, self-esteem, structure, stimulation, coping, confidence, health, and (most sadly) even hope: “I feel like someone has a gun to my head” - Pete in Ojai.

Unfortunately far too many men are finding that retirement is far from the laid-back holiday they saved for and looked forward to for many years. Instead of Club Med, they find themselves alone, unwanted, and bored. Some self-medicate with drugs and/or alcohol (with predictable results), others slip into depression, some become couch potatoes. Experiencing such a powerful and overwhelming sense of loss leads to rapidly declining physical and mental health - statistics reveal that an alarming number of men die within two years of retirement.

In their book “How to Avoid retirement & Stay Alive” David Bogan & Keith Davies point out: “For some people retirement is their own personal living nightmare...on a certain date their lives cease to have meaning and they become valueless”, the authors regard the notion of “retirement” as a dangerous virus which leads to a living death and should be eradicated from one’s thought processes. “Retire - to put aside from use....remove from view...withdraw from society”.

In his book “The Psychology of Retirement - coping with the transition from work” Derek Milne says that retirement “is too often a surprisingly stressful life event for which many individuals are ill-prepared”. Whilst many men may have a financial plan, far too few have any idea how they are actually going to fill their days - and find the transition to a life of leisure difficult, if not impossible, to make.

This blog will look at as many aspects and angles of this crisis as possible, and attempt to provide some solutions.